The sadness is overwhelming.

I feel I should be happy, I mean I just got my first job, I’m starting college in the fall, I’ve fixed all my relationships with my friends that mattered the most, I started going to church again but yet I feel so lost. I just want to cry. I want my mom to tell me everything is going to be okay but that mom I once new has too lost herself. What do I do? I’ve never thought of suicide so much in my life. We can all thank God I don’t have the guts to actually commit the act. Because if I did, I wouldn’t be here. I just feel so sad, it’s beginning to overwhelm me. Suicide would never be the answer though, I have some strength left to fight this fight. I miss my dad, I went from seeing him every day for the past 17 years to only seeing him maybe once to five times a month. I hardly see him anymore. I just wish this was all a nightmare, my sister being killed, my parents divorcing, EVERYTHING. I’m just so broken.

STORYTIME.

storytime

Okay so there’s these two guys I know.
One I’ve known for a really long time, let’s call him Shawn.
The second one I’ve only known for a short time and we’ll call him Marty.

Okay so Shawn is a really great guy, has a sweet side to him. Quiet though and usually kept to himself. Lately his life has gone down hill due to some of his actions and some that were out of his control. Now all people can see is the bad side of him.

Well then we have Marty who has heard many things of Shawn and has met him only recently. So all Marty sees is the bad side of Shawn. So as a typical human being, Marty is going to be a complete asshole and judge Shawn according to his latest actions. Yeah Shawn is making mistakes and yeah there’s no excuse for what he’s doing but the fact Marty is so quick to judge is what’s aggravating. Because from what I know of Marty here lately, he has absolutely no room to talk. So whenever Shawn comes up in a conversation and I’m around Marty I lose all respect for Marty because all he ever does is sit and talk shit about Shawn which is not his place to do but Marty’s girlfriend Shelby allows it. I love Shelby but the fact she allows Marty to talk shit about Shawn in front of me pisses me off. I don’t know, am I just overreacting? Ugh..

Trampoline Troubles

ImageSo my trampoline is breaking, soon it will look like this one. I’m learning to do a backflip and well with so many springs missing and the legs bent as I began the flip I chickened out and well lets just say landed on my back on the ground while still on the trampoline. Yeah, that thing has crap stability. I’m sure by tomorrow I will have a nice sore back, OH and in time for my new jobs orientation. Yay for me. 

Oh so hey!

Great news, I Rachael Cook can proudly say I now have a first job and not to mention my first job. I’m sure you’re probably thinking “You’re 18 and you’re just now getting your first job?!” Yes, I know I’m a little behind but I have my procrastinating excuses okay? haha. But yes I got a job at Walmart. Yes, yes Rachael is finally making herself in life useful, HAHA. 

Society.

By then you’re probably thinking to yourself, “oh great here’s another complaining about how society is all the same.” 

It’s not like that though, it’s just about a particular individual who gets judges so harshly. 

Jeff Hardy, he’s my inspiration. 
People look at his mistakes, everything he’s done and think “what a screwup.” or “Jeff Hardy is a drug addict, why the hell would you respect him?” HOLD UP FOR A MOMENT, Jeff Hardy has been guilty for those things, but has since cleaned up. Maybe for good maybe not. But that’s not your place. He seemed to have cleaned up especially since he’s had his sweet little Ruby. 

You know if he wasn’t so famous, none of you judgmental hypocrites wouldn’t pay him the attention, but instead because of his fame you sit and you judge. He’s far more successful than you and a much better person for not caring what anyone says. But of course my little blog post isn’t going to stop anyone, but at least gives me room to speak my mind. I just hate how society can be sometimes. That’s all. If you’d like to defend yourself and “prove” how wrong I am, please do. Although it would be a waste because I know I’m not wrong. Jeff is an all around great guy. But go ahead, you’re only wasting YOUR TIME.